Drive Me Batty: Hallway Etiquette


Connor Gushman, Rayna Gunther, and Chloe Lach walking through the hallways without a care in the world.

Cameron Southward, Lit Mag Curator

           If I had ever found a magic lamp with a genie in it, I think one of my wishes would be for people to have some common sense. I think the whole world would run A LOT smoother if everyone just had a bit of common sense and basic human decency, especially in the hallway. You would think, that after at least eight years of school people would know how to correctly walk in the hallways.

I mean, come on people. This is America, we do things backward from the rest of the world. We have Fahrenheit, miles, pounds, etc. Almost everything the rest of the world does, we do the opposite. When we drive, it’s on the right side of the road. So why should walking in the hallway be any different?

You got people walking on the wrong side of the hallway, a group spread out across the entire hallway like a Mean Girls entrance, people making out right beside you, people walking WAY too slow, people running through the hallways, people screaming, and people playing their raunchy music. It is complete and utter chaos. Total anarchy in the hallways.

The worst, however, is when someone is walking in front of you and they’re not really walking slow but they’re only going 97% of your speed. Your only two options are two slow down and go 97% of your regular speed or comically speed walk around them. Usually, I choose the latter and I look like a fool trying to get around people going 106% of my speed. Maybe no one else relates to my struggles but, trust me, it is a struggle.

But that is not always something people can control. They can control the other stuff, though. Stop making out where I can see it, stop running in the hallways, stop walking on the wrong side, and stop fanning out. That makes it hard to look a fool when I try to go around you. I have to elbow my way through like a roller derby lady. Basically, just have a little bit of common sense. I am triggered.